Adventures in Musedom
by Lady Lye
Summary: I never wanted a muse... but then DUO had to come along and start messing with the machine- DUO: S'not MY fault! LADY: Oh, yes it is! Please do R&R for a laugh, maybe to learn something and to just make me feel better. Rated for my abominable vocabulary..


Adventures in Musedom  
  
  
  
  
Muse (n)- 1. Any of the nine daughters of Mnemosyne and Zeus, each of whom presided over a different art or science. 2. A guiding spirit; a source of inspiration. (www.dictionary.com)  
  
Pardon me while I laugh uproariously. No modern muse is like that! Or if there are, I have yet to see one. For one thing, there are WAY more than nine of 'em out there. For another- a whole slew of them are male. Yeah, try telling THAT to your ancient dead guys.   
  
Those sporting their own muses should shove them out of the room immediately. The ancient muses were demi-goddesses and revered and worshipped. Your modern muse may exhibit any, all, or any combination of the following traits; selfishness, laziness, rudeness, ingratitude, a tendency towards violence, disrespectfulness and, to put it bluntly, NOT inspiring. If you told a modern muse that ancient people used to worship them they'd probably get swelled heads and start making outrageous demands for undeserved respect and offerings of wine and lambs to be made a regular times of the day. Don't get me wrong, if you can find a really good muse then you're set, and I envy you. But is it any surprise that I do NOT want a muse?  
  
  
  
Then DUO came along and started messing around in my lab…  
  
Duo: S'not MY fault!  
  
What are you talking about!? Of COURSE it's your fault! You messed with the RIG, you braided baka!  
  
Duo: Well it's not like you didn't treat IT like a muse already…  
  
Hush, One Who Shall Sleep In the Doghouse tonight. For those of you unlucky enough to be reading these, this is my story.   
  
Duo: It's theirs as well…  
  
This is the story of how certain new… 'additions' to our happy little happy in SOMEWHERE came to be…  
  
  
It started out normally of course, most things do. I had retreated from the abysmal mundanities of normal life into my realm of words. Slipping into my persona of Lady Lye, I proceeded deeper into my imagination and settled somewhere in FanFic Land. A short walk and I was at my little, alright HUGE house there. A sign over the front gate reads SOMEWHERE, because that's where and what it is.   
  
With a happy sigh I went up the drive and inside, smiling when a quick hand in my pocket confirmed the prescence of my keyboard, Kataku. The thought of it made me grin and I decided first to seek out it's namesake.   
  
Mission: Accepted. Target: Locked. Preparing to launch… FIRE!  
  
"WUFFIE-CHAN!" I flew from seemingly nowhere to glomp the scared witless pilot of said MS.  
  
"GACK!" he scrambled to get away but it was too late, I already had a firm hold. "HELP! HELP!" he cried wildly, flailing to no avail.  
  
I grinned at him wolfishly. Though Wufei is NOT my favorite, he HAS found a special place in my heart though he's never to know that. The rules are that no one's allowed to piss of Wufei but me. Duo has a free pass every so often as well cuz he IS my favorite, but he knows not to push it. Yes, can you believe it? The baka actually DOES have certain limits. It's just a matter of whether or not he remembers them… "Glad to see me, Wu?"  
  
The sound of my voice stopped him abruptly. If looks could kill. "GET OFF ME YOU WEAK BAKA ONNA AUTHOR WOMAN!"  
  
"Done," I released him, letting him fall onto the hard wood floor and skipped away, ignoring his cry of 'Itai!'. The nice thing- cartoon characters are bouncy and don't injure easily. Just look at Heero.  
  
Speaking of whom, our homicidal friend was in the next room- doing what else?- typing on his laptop. This room is one of my favorites. It's large and airy and spacious with a high ceiling and very large windows that look out onto a vast, vibrant property overflowing with life and greenery. It's often my workspace when I come here, evidenced by the elaborate computer set up in one corner. Near a beautiful, yet simple fireplace is an entertainment system stocked with videos, DVDs (that it seems I shall never have in real life *sniffle*), and CDs. It's possible to spend hours in here doing nothing but enjoying the wonders of modern technology.   
  
I approached Heero and peered at what was on his screen. "Playing games again, I see."  
  
With a start he minimized all the windows to glare at me. "You just made me lose."  
  
"Well pardon ME," I said, sauntering to one of the plush couches and flopping down onto one. "Where is everyone today?"  
  
Heero rolled his eyes and he opened his programs again while he replied his usual montone. "Trowa's upstairs, Quatre's gardening with the 'help' of the Maganaucs, Wufei WAS meditating in the next room but from the sound of it you've already destroyed that," he ignored my happy grin. "And Duo's in the basement."  
  
The smile fell. "He's where?"  
  
"In the basement."  
  
"MY basement? As in the one with all the big machines? The one where I keep highly important and volatile science projects!? The one I call my lab and leave LOCKED and BARRACKADED for a REASON!?" my voice rose in something bordering on hysteria and quickly verging towards panic.  
  
"Hai," was all he answered, calmly starting a new game.  
  
"How did he get down there!? Why did you LET him down there!? Heero, I thought we eradicated the death wish in you!"  
  
Heero shrugged, ignoring my alarm. "You like things that are 'interesting'. I thought it might be 'interesting' to see what happens."  
  
I stared at him, not quite believing what I was hearing. "You realize that you left him down there with the nitro glycerin, yes?"  
  
THAT got Heero's attention. He closed the laptop. "I'll help you find him."  
  
"Thank you."   
  
We hurriedly made our way downstairs and into the basement. I noted that my locks had been expertly picked and made a mental note to speak to Howard about arranging for new ones and possibly contacting Q to get me some security like the stuff in James Bond movies.   
  
At the foot of the steps all appeared normal. Smoke wasn't billowing out from anywhere and there were no angry red lights screaming things like 'Code Red' and 'Danger' and 'Evacuate the facilities immediately!'. The comforting whir of the machines spaced throughout the machine seemed to signify that all was fine and that we were silly to have thought that anything could be out of the ordinary.   
  
Laughter told us we were right. Dashing around the object placed thoughout the room, which stretched the length and breadth of the house, we arrived breathless before-  
  
"The RIG!" I exclaimed.  
  
Duo stood before it, the user's manual in one hand. "Hey guys!" he said cheerfully. "Lady, this book is useless."  
  
"Of course it is, you twit, it's techno mumble jumble. Doesn't matter though, it came fully set up to work. Duo how many times have I told you not to come down here?" I scolded, advancing on him.  
  
He ignored me, still reading the manual. As I approached he shrugged and chucked the thing away. "I don't need it anyway," he cracked his knuckles, looking at the keypad eagerly. "Shinigami needs no man to tell him how to do things. Let's try- this one!" he punched a button.  
  
"Duo, no!" Heero and I both cried, too late, as the machine leapt into life and started making odd noises. Duo frowned and tried another button, and then another, ignoring the violent whirring noises coming from it. Smoke started to seep out from between the paneling but he continued to press things. Heero and I watched on fear as the intensity rose, cowering back as an explosion rent the air, throwing us both backwards.   
  
As soon as the smoke had cleared enough, I leapt to my feet. "Heero?"  
  
"I'm alright, get that baka!" Heero moaned, sitting up agonizingly.  
  
I rushed to the fallen 02 pilot's side. "Duo? Duo! Wake up, you crazy fool!" he wasn't moving. Oh god- he couldn't- could he!? "Duo! Duo!"  
  
He moaned a sat up. "Not now, mommy…"  
  
"Um, guys?" Heero drew both our attentions back to the RIG, which was still chugging away.  
  
The seemingly flat panels on the side away from the keypad slid aside and two balls of- something- rolled out and landed painfully on the tiled floor. It's whirrings and chuggings slowly died down and the 'doors' slid closed, having expelled their bounty.   
  
The three of us stared at the things, not knowing what to make of them. One of them moved and shrieked, all of us jerking backwards and away from them.   
  
Both things uncurled, revealing themselves to be- human? The first, female, sat up and rubbed at her pretty little highlighted head. "Owie… where am I?" she said curiously, peering around in wonder.  
  
"Woah! Baby! Where have you been all my life!" Duo started up and I yanked him back down.   
  
"You idiot!" Heero barked. Are you TRYING to get killed? We have no idea who or what those are!"  
  
The other thing sat up and it was my turn to gawk. He was gorgeous with dark brown hair and brilliant, choclatey eyes. Velvet almost… Both pilots shoved me protectively behind them and I slid on the linoleum. "Hey!"  
  
"For your own protection, Lady," Heero spared me a glance over his shoulder as he and Duo stood, ready to defend me.  
  
The girl stared at them, then shook the boy's shoulder. "RInGo! RInGo! Look! Look!!"  
  
"What, bRIdGet?" he said in irritation, then saw what and froze.   
  
The two pilots gazes never left them for an instant.  
  
I frowned at their odd pronunciations. What a minute… "Duo?" I said awkwardly.   
  
"What, babe?" he didn't bother to turn around.  
  
"You're always saying the RIG is like a muse, right?"  
  
"Yeah…"  
  
"Guess what those are."  
  
"No way," Duo gaped. "Muses!?"  
  
"Yeah, we're muses, you got a problem with that?" the guy snapped.   
  
The girl rolled her eyes. "Don't mind him, he's just sensitive about being a male muse."  
  
I got up and walked over, peering around my self proclaimed bodyguards who only yesterday had threatened to kill me for inserting them in various fanfics. "You guys are really muses?"  
  
"Mhmm," the girl nodded. "You're our author, right?"  
  
"Hai," I nodded, pushing the two boys apart. "I'm Lady Lye. What are you doing here? I didn't ask you guys to come."  
  
"You didn't need to," RInGo shot a glance at Duo. "The beauty of these Random Idea Generators is that they can create anything and everything and often do. Course, sometimes they need a little help."  
  
I turned on Duo angrily. "YOU MADE ME MUSES!? Duo, you KNOW what I think of muses!"  
  
Duo lost all his tough guy bravado and took several steps back. "Uh, that they're sweet and loveable and handy to have around?"  
  
"That they're a damn nuisance most of the time! Duo! I've TOLD you NOT to mess with my stuff down here!"  
  
Heero diplomatically cleared his throat. "Lady, I doubt you can get rid of these two. Why not give them a shot?"  
  
Luckily, the two muses didn't seem disturbed by my outbursts at all. I blushed guiltily when I looked at them. "I suppose so…"  
  
"Hi, I'm bRIdGet," the girl stood and offered her hand, smiling prettily. I took it warily. "And that sulky mean guy grinch over there is RInGo." RInGo rolled his eyes and nodded.  
  
"Um, great," I said, suddenly unsure of what to do anymore. "I'm Lady. Mr. Tall, Dark and Broody back there is Heero Yuy and the moron incapable of understanding the concept of 'no' is Duo Maxwell. There are more characters upstairs."  
  
"Great!" bRIdGet beamed. "Can we go meet them right now? PLEASE?"  
  
"Hey, sure thing, babe!" Duo beamed at her and took her arm. She smiled back winningly, not a brain in her empty head. "Now, the others may not be too bright, but don't take offense. That is, afterall, why _I_ am the leader around here," he said, leading her upstairs. "We'll catch you later, guys!"  
  
I groaned and put my head in my hands. "I can't believe this. Not only do I now have TWO muses instead of just one, but one's a ditz and is smitten by-" jealously flared. "By MY D-kun! When I get my hands on her I'll-" I started to go after them but Heero held me back.  
  
"Think about it," he advised. "I give it one week max before she figures out what he's about and decides never to speak to him again."  
  
I harrumphed and pouted. "Fuck it all…"  
  
A surreptitious cough drew us both back to the present. RInGo was looking at us. Hm, you know… he WAS good looking… And obviously intelligent. He almost made up for BaRbIe over there. "May we- get to work?" he asked.  
  
"Uh, sure," I blinked. Oh. That's right. Muses were supposed to help provide inspiration, weren't they? I glanced up at Heero.  
  
"Go ahead, I'll keep Duo out of trouble," he nodded and we all traipsed upstairs.  
  
  
  
And THAT Ladies and Gents is how I- (*many loud crashing and banging noises are heard in the background*) -ended up with not one but TWO muses parading around my house, adding to the general chaos that often ensues there. WOULD YOU PEOPLE KEEP IT DOWN!?  
  
*In the next room, Duo, bRIdGet and Wufei look up guiltily, paused in mid-run. Seems the ditz has a taste for pranks. More like sitting there laughing like crazy and praising Duo's every more, inflating his already huge ego and encouraging him to further acts of mayhem.*  
  
Duo: But La~ady! We were just having fun!  
  
Oh go ahead… *sigh*   
  
RInGo: Hey, you have stories to work on.  
  
Oh go jump in a lake, you Beetle-wannabe… Hey! That give me an idea! What do you think of a songfic- Gundamania instead of Beetle-mania!  
  
RInGo: *sweatdrops* I suppose it could work…  
  
*glomps him* Muses ARE good for something! *crash in the back* That better not have been my collection of glass animals!  
  
Duo: *guiltily* …No!  
  
Oh *sigh*… what have I gotten myself into? A word of warning: DON'T get a muse. And don't EVER, EVER let Duo mess around with machinery or science experiments etc… I promise you'll regret it. All pity me… I need a vacation…  
  
  
  
  
Please R&R!  
  
-The very frazzled and harassed Lady Lye 


End file.
